Emotional Expression

Why is Emotional Expression important?

Let’s start with an analogy.

Imagine yourself as a teapot filled with water, representing your emotions. Throughout the day, various experiences and stressors fill the teapot with emotional "water," such as frustration, joy, uncertainty, eagerness, or boredom. On some days, if we don't address these emotions, the volume inside the teapot can build up, leading to the water overflowing in unintended ways.

Emotional expression is like pouring out the water from the teapot. As we pour out our emotions through expression, whether it's through talking, writing, art, or other forms of self-expression, we release the built-up pressure, bringing relief and restoring balance to our inner world.

That is the first why; if we suppress our emotions, they will build up pressure within us and consume our energy. Expressing our emotions, on the other hand, allows us to release that internal tension and reset ourselves to equilibrium. The very nature of sharing our emotions, in writing, verbally or nonverbally, gives us a different perspective on our feelings as it allows us to understand that emotions are a part of us, but not in control of us. All of which contributes to our personal management and wellbeing.

Back to the analogy.

Imagine the teapot once more, its exterior gleaming with a polished brilliance, a testament to its strength and resilience. The elegant shape of the teapot, with its gracefully curved lines, evokes a sense of timeless beauty and sophistication. From the outside, it appears strong, refined, and meticulously cared for.

Yet, within the confines of the teapot's porcelain walls, a different scene unfolds. Emotions roil like the boiling water within, creating a complex internal landscape that remains hidden from view. Despite the outward appearance of composure, the teapot's interior is a swirl of emotions waiting to be acknowledged and understood.

When the teapot pours out some of its contents into teacups, it offers a glimpse into its inner workings, revealing the tumultuous emotions brewing beneath the surface. This act of sharing allows others to witness the teapot's vulnerability, fostering empathy and understanding in their relationships.

This is the second why; just as pouring water into teacups allows for a deeper connection between individuals, expressing our emotions to others serves a similar purpose. By revealing what lies beneath the surface, we invite others into our inner world, fostering intimacy and connection in our relationships. If we keep our emotions to ourselves, our friends, family and colleagues will remain clueless to our pain, sorrows and joys. Sharing our emotions, on the other hand, helps them gain insight into what we are feeling and why, which is key to healthy relationships.

Note - Start Small. When expressing our emotions to others, don’t feel like you have to start by expressing yourself to a lot of people at once. Instead, start with one person; a friend, family member or colleague you know well and expand from there.

Template

I feel [emotion] ______ when _____________________ because ___________________. What I need is _____________________________________.
Use this template to help you structure your communication and help you express your emotions.

Tools

Dr. Pennebaker Strategy: Dr. James Pennebaker, Professor at the University of Texas, has spent the last four decades studying the link between writing and emotional processing (Pennebaker, 2006; Pennebaker, 2017).

• Time: 20 Minutes / Minimum of 3 Days and No Maximum

• Task: Write about your emotional experiences from the last week, months, or year. Wherever your mind goes is perfect! There is no specific structure.

• Form: doesn’t matter. The point is to get the inside out, not have it a masterpiece of literary delights.

• Delete: throw the paper away or close the doc without saving.

Practice: Give it a go - you know this from your own work, from sports, from life. These skills take time but they are mastered through practice. Start small and build up your muscles.

Role Play: set up a scene with coworkers / friends (or have the others set up a scene for you as a surprise) and practice expressing emotions in that context.

• Example: you are part of a team running an event in two weeks. You are all in your weekly meeting: 

  1. You are stressed because the team is missing a key point on welcoming the guests.

  2. You have been asked to take on the keynote speakers, but you don’t feel confident in that area.

Letter of Gratitude: write a letter of gratitude to whomever is deserving of it.

Emotion Journal: Writing is an effective outlet of our emotions. Use an emotion journal to reflect on the emotion(s) of the day; exploring the triggers, the physiology, the reactions, and what would you do differently next time.

Happy improving.